April 4, 2016 |
Parting is always such sweet sorrow, Hedi. But, after a weekend spent in darkened rooms, crying into pillows and finding solace in large measures of vodka, it’s time. Time for us to say goodbye. Goodbye really is the hardest word, isn’t it? Yes, we know, Elton said sorry was the hardest word, but this is different. We shed half our body weight so that our upper thighs could squeeze into your trousers. To afford you, we sold things that we can never get back. Which is why we can’t say goodbye without stopping to reminisce. Yes, our therapist told us that it’s is a bad idea. Yes, they told us we need a clean break. But how can we? We’ve poured through your Saint Laurent shows and picked our favourite looks, well, ten of them, because we are called Ten, and ten is also a nice round number. To round things off, you see? Consider this our love letter as you set out on your new adventure. Keep it in your britches. Or in your chest pocket. It’s closer to your heart that way.
[ Spring Summer 2013 ]
First show, first look. Julia Nobis does Madison Montgomery. Because it’s all a bit AHS: Coven, isn’t it? The wide-brimmed hat, the hefty pussy bow, that waistcoat. We’re calling this look “glam-ass witch” – an outfit just as suitable for re-animating a man from severed body parts as it is for undertaking a ceremonial burning at the stake of an evening. Either way, this bitch means business. She reigns supreme.
[ Autumn Winter 2013 ]
This one’s your classic fallen off the tracks Catholic schoolgirl. Who discovered the magical powers of a heavy smearing of eyeliner at an early age. Who hitched her skirt up to her boobs to make it as short as possible, leading to an inappropriate frisson with a PE teacher. And a girl who, judging by those sparklers, knows her way around a hosiery department. Praise be!
[ Spring Summer 2014 ]
Once upon the time, in the year 2010, the Sugababes released a little known classic entitled Wear My Kiss. “You wanna wear my kiss all over your body, won’t you try it on?” it went. “I promise you this – you wanna wear my kiss”. Three years later, the season being Spring Summer 2014, Hedi answered their call – Saint Laurent kisses all over your body, care of this power-shouldered, mini-skirted, wraparound dress. Because really, who wants to be touched by a real-life pair of lips? Not us.
[ Autumn Winter 2014 ]
You are Yulia Smirnov, ice dancer. Russian’s number two. You are too reliable, they say. You don’t have the flair to be number one, they say. But this World Championships, it’s different. Because you’ve got the dress. The dress. Red. Sequinned. In at the waist, flared at the hem. The perfect thick black tight. A statement earring. You hear the crowd is screaming from the dressing room. You grip the sink, you face the mirror. “It’s time, Yulia,” you say. “It’s time.”
[ Spring Summer 2015]
Halter-necks were kind of big for a while, weren’t they? Then they were a bit embarrassing, but then Hedi said they was okay again so there were okay again. But we are aware many of you cannot afford such Saint Laurent archive pieces, so one can alternatively achieve this look by purchasing a sequinned scarf, wrapping it around your neck, tucking both sides into your knickers and cinching with a tightly fastened belt. Tit tape recommended. Modesty not guaranteed.
[ Autumn Winter 2015 ]
Well, because we didn’t want to leave you lovely boys out did we? And what more could the male readers of Ten desire more than a full-length pink fur coat? Consider this as a way to reveal your, let’s say, “flamboyant” side to family and friends. Because isn’t it just delightful? Aren’t you just utterly head-over-heels? Team it with a pointed leather booty and sheer lace top for maximum je ne sais quoi.
[ Autumn Winter 2015 ]
This here is a lady who is an expert at not giving a shit. A kind of Tarantino protagonist re-born into female form. A female form that could also do a mean turn as Velma Kelly in Chicago. Basically, she both knows how to do a high kick, handle a firearm and all in a pair of snugly tailored trousers. What a woman.
[ Spring Summer 2016 ]
A chance to revel in full grunge abandon from the Kurt Cobain-cum-Clueless sunglasses to the deliciously scuffed trainers, care of this artfully dishevelled get up from Spring Summer 2016. Add to that a sprinkle of leopard print, a dash of striped sock and a hearty splash of unwashed-washed hair and well – it’s just rad, dude.
[ Spring Summer 2016 ]
Carrietta N. “Carrie” White is back. The only nod to the troublesome events of last summer’s prom night are the strappy red sandals upon her feet. Because this time it’s different. This time, she isn’t messing. This time she’s ready for it – cover me in blood, she says. Drown me in it. Pig, cow, human. I don’t care. I’ll ENJOY it, if anything. For I am your rightful queen. Bow down, bitches.
[ Autumn Winter 2016 ]
To finish, what better than a giant red furry heart? Or that’s what we like to see this as, although the more pernickety amongst you may alternative call it “a jacket”. Either way, let it wrap you in its warm glow. It will love you forever. What more could you ask for from an item of clothing than that? Hedi, you spoil us.
Text by Jack Moss
Collated by Dominic Cadogan
