October 9, 2016 |
Another set of shows have come and gone quicker than you could say “sweetie, darling, sweetie” and what a whirlwind it has been. There have been tears and tantrums of that we are sure, but also lots and lots of fashions; swings and roundabouts then. So much to take in, like an all you can eat buffet with delicious treats from all around the world to devour. So put on your maternity pants and stuff your face, because here are the Ten Looks that will transport you from your grotty home in Milton Keynes to the glamorous province of Provence. Forget opulence darling, it’s all about going back to your roots. Getting down and dirty – in the fields. Working the pole (watch it) and churning that butter. Okay so you get the gist…
Loewe
We begin our journey with Jonathan Anderson’s offerings for Loewe. Think pared down pilgrimage. Great garms for our girl Helga (she’s our hero of this story) to go about her daily chores like milking cows and uh, running in the fields? Perfect accessory? One of those wooden shoulder milk bucket thingies. Got milk?
J.W.Anderson
Jonathan really had peasants on his mind this season. It was Tudor peasants for his eponymous label. Wasn’t everyone a peasant in those times? Not unless you were Henry VIII, which coincidentally was the main inspiration for the collection. But you can’t have royalty without peasants so it makes sense here. Helga’s choice would be this look with Tudor sleeves and layered linen. Breaking hearts all over the kingdom.
Jil Sander
Jil Sander was puffy and oversized this season. Like an eclair. Stuffed full of cream. And what a delicious looking eclair this model is wearing. Little known fact, but the more pleats you have the closer you are to God. From God’s lips to your ears. Heavenly.
Dolce & Gabbana
She’s thrifty that Helga. Her mam taught her to never let anything go to waste. Leftovers to feed the animals etc. I’m not sure that is what Domenico and Stefano were envisaging when they came up with their SS17 collection, but it’s relevant for Helga’s journey. What to do with the pasta sack once all the pasta has run out? Throw it out, are you mad! Grab a pair of scissors and fashion a sweet minidress out of it. Bellissima!
Marni
Marni was part traveller, part farmer, part fabulous. Not only that, but functional as well as fashionable. And the colours. I’m going to call them rural. Helga adores. Look at her massive sacks. Bursting full of…crops probably. Carrots and potatoes and earthy stuff. Will make a lovely stew. Delish.
Andreas Kronthaler for Vivienne Westwood
Don’t take this the wrong way, but Andreas Kronthaler and Vivienne Westwood look like they took a roll in the hay this season. That dress. Agriculture at it’s finest. The townsfolk may stare, but Helga isn’t phased. It’s couture darling. Absolutely no naked flames though. That would be a disaster. Although a great centrepiece for Burning Man next year.
Alexander McQueen
Sarah Burton flew out her entire team for an inspirational trip to the Shetland Isles and thus was born the SS17 collection. Flying proud the blue and white flag. Not Helga this time, but her wee cousin Rhona. And don’t be fooled by her leather harness because she’s just a bonnie lass. Dinnae greet for me Aberdeen. Yeah, I’m not sure what that means either, but it’s very that.
Jacquemus
Simon Porte Jacquemus wasn’t beating around the bush for SS17. He said “Provence” loud and proud. Shouted even. And he should be proud, it’s his childhood hometown after all. Think Provencal woman in her Sunday best. Unapologetically dressed up to the nines, because they may get down with the farmyard animals, but they sure know how to scrub up well. And Sunday best always requires a hat. Ask Hyacinth Bucket if you don’t believe me.
Celine
Phoebe Philo was thinking hard about what her woman would need this season. Wonderfully feminine (and sometimes masculine) clothing for wonderful women. Take this look for example, exactly what Helga would need to wear to journey through the forest to take some bread to dear grandma. Little Red Riding Hood, but white. Pure. Angelic. Innocent. Add some sugar and spice and everything nice. This is what makes us girls. Maybe.
Valentino
Finally the pièce de résistance from Valentino. Pierpaolo Piccioli’s first solo outing and he didn’t disappoint. He opened the blinds down at Hotel Salomon de Rothschild and the lightness seems to have penetrated the collection too. Helga has a special ball to go to and she’s saved up all her pennies for this powder pink dress with golden illustrations of the fields and rivers she holds close to her bosom. It’s cinched and ruched and showing off her shoulders (gasp). Talk about going out with a bang. Helga you’re my hero.
