July 18, 2014 |
There are many reasons to wear spectacles, the main one being the gift of sight. However, should you need any more reasons to ditch the contact lenses for these rather handsome Ralph Lauren spectacles, read on. Not that you should need any more reasons. The answer is yes. It’s a no-brainer.
1. To see. Obviously, if you need glasses, it implies that you might be experiencing some trouble with your vision. Do you see double? Do you have to squint? Do things blur before you (and not because you were drinking last night)? If yes, then you need glasses. If no, then you don’t. And don’t pretend you do. There’s nothing worse than those poseurs with fake spectacles. Don’t lower yourself to their level. If you are so desperate to wear glasses, yet suffer from 20/20 vision, why not maim yourself? Poke something in your eye. Not so much that you lose it completely, just enough to impair your vision a touch. Or watch television, sit at your computer with your nose pushed right up against the screen. You were always told as a child that it would ruin your vision, so why not find out if it actually does?
2. Four eyes are better than two. Yes, people may call you four-eyes just because you happen to be wearing spectacles, but that is because they only have two. They are, quite simply put, jealous. Think of all the things you can see – or in your case can’t see – with two eyes, and imagine the sense of sight doubled, or is it quadrupled? So powerful is your sense of sight you could probably see into the future. Maybe you could retrain as a fortune-teller.
3. This pair here really is rather handsome. They sit just so on the bridge of your nose, adding a regal air to your profile. The tortoiseshell frame warms your skin, giving you a healthy, all-American glow. Like you’ve spent the afternoon playing touch football when, in reality, you’ve spent it in a dark room quietly dying and binging on Doritos. The shape emphasises the almond contour of your eyes, the shade brings out the colour of your irises. Without them all you have are eyes. Everyone has eyes. Big deal. With these you have piercing eyes. Eyes that can penetrate a man’s heart and kill him with one glance.
4. They make you look smart. Glasses make everyone look smarter. And who doesn’t want to look smarter? An idiot.
5. They are by Ralph Lauren. Do you really need a better argument?
By Natalie Dembinska
