Ten Thinks: Hair Do? Don’t Do.

Samuel Wilkin (top) is a model. His hair is long-ish and centre parted.

This style used to be called “the curtains”. In the second picture, me aged 17, in, I think, 1989.

My hair was so “curtainified” back then and gelled and then straightened with my mum’s hair dryer, that when I was hanging around Sheffield city centre, which I did a lot, that a boy about three years older than me and who hated me shouted  – in front of everybody – “…isn’t it about time you shut those curtains, fatty?”

And everybody laughed. They laughed and laughed and I died a bit. And when I got home cried a bit.

And thus, the next week, the curtains were chopped off into mini curtains. And I started a diet that has lasted ever since.

To conclude, I do hope this tragic tale of curtain-hair bullying reminds you that just because you have hair doesn’t mean you can carry off any hairstyle you wish.

And, that curtains are only for the fine-boned few like young Samuel Wilkin, here.

Thank you, good night and mine’s a lager.