October 9, 2011 |
FROM THE VAULT (SUMMER 2011)
[ April 19, 2011 / 10:17-10:27 / ON THE PHONE, LONDON TO NEW YORK ]
Gloria, Gloria. Can you hear? The line’s funny. Shall I call back? No? Only it’s just your… what? Okay. Anyway this re-launch thing, really think you should do it, babes. You could outsell Calvin again. I know you want to. And, anyway, a little healthy competition never hurt anyone. And imagine the look on his face. You sold – what? –10,000,000 pairs of jeans the first time round. Isn’t that like 100,000,000 in today’s numbers? Or does that only apply to money? Doesn’t matter, anyway. What matters is you sold a lot, gorge, and you could do it again. Just make that swan thing bigger. Make it take up a whole butt cheek, maybe even have it overlap onto the other. Add in a bottle of your signature whiff as a gift-with-purchase-type thing and you’re off. As for the ad campaign, though, I don’t think you should front it. It’d be too obvious. People are after shock factor now. Your face doesn’t cause them to gasp in horror. I always said that was your biggest mistake, not having enough plastic surgery. It’s too late to start now. The face you want takes years to achieve. I’ve got an idea that might just work, though – what if we use Andersson? He’s well known, he’s likeable, woman want him, as do men. All we would have to do is put him in a wig – very on trend with this whole girly-boy thing – and we could have him pose in the manner of a young Brooke Shields. All he would have to do is lie on a floor and whisper seductively. The tag line could be “nothing comes between me and mah boos”. Whaddya think? Personally I think it would shake up the denim industry. Set the fashion world alight. Do you think he’d say yes? He could promote the ad on CNN.
by Natalie Dembinska
