October 14, 2016 |
A random Friday lunchtime conversation recently went thus:
“So, Will, why do you like piercings so much?”.
The other conversation involved crabs and eyebrows, and what would happen if crabs from somewhere else on that same body somehow encountered the eyebrow crabs and went onto breed with each other and create a mutant, super crab, but we’ll spare you that for now. Anyway, back to Will and piercings.
“Well, I like piercings because you can pierce anything. There’s nothing that can’t be pierced. Even eyes. You can get eyeball gems, which is where you dig a bit out. A piercing adds some welcome sparkling, razzle dazzle to the blandest of bodies. It is also a sign of strength and courage, showing to the world at large that you can withstand the pain of self-mutilation, that you have in fact choosen to suffer this pain willingly and not had it inflicted upon you against your will. They are the mark of a true hero. Personally, I would chose not to suffer this pain willingly. Though I did get my ear pierced when I was 11. A gold stud in my left ear. But I didn’t show any courage or strength and removed it within 24 hours”.
If you, like Will, are too pussy to pierce, may we recommend the J.W. Anderson Pierce bag. Pierced through the flap, for your piercing pleasure, with a weighty gold ring. Far less painful than having yourself pierced.
