May 8, 2013 |
Imagine Duran Duran. But better dressed. And with better hair. They are on a yacht. The sun is shining. There is a gentle breeze. Their hair does not sway because product that is not hairspray has been used in it. They are filming Rio. In Antigua. They are wearing Louis Vuitton. Obviously they didn’t wear Louis Vuitton because a) it was the 1980s and Duran Duran have never been known for their exquisite taste; and b) because, well, Louis Vuitton didn’t really make clothes back then and most certainly didn’t have Kim Jones at their helm to come up with a yacht-inspired smorgasbord of fashions. To be honest, the reason for the more nautical theme wasn’t Duran Duran, but the 30th anniversary of the Louis Vuitton Cup. The cup is a sort of elimination round, if you will, of people wanting to compete in the America’s Cup, the Olympics of competitive yachting, or something. We know nothing about sports, so just know that there’s a Wikipedia page. Feel free to have a read. What we do know about, though, are clothes that would look good at sea. Take, for example, the leather vest modelled on a life jacket. How practical. If your boat were to capsize we could imagine it functioning in the same way a life jacket would, in that it would help you float, which, if you can’t swim, would help you not to drown. Or the cashmere-neoprene wetsuit, which we imagine, as it’s cashmere, would keep you warmer than a regular neoprene wetsuit when scuba diving or partaking in other activities that would require a wetsuit. In fact, we imagine it would look quite fetching with the leather “life jacket” slung over it, the neon go-faster stripes running down your legs underneath it. There is also a short-sleeve cashmere jumper in navy, embroidered with a fierce-looking canine that, for the purposes of this, we will refer to as the “sea dog”, which would be perfect for any aspiring seafarer. In fact, it’s worn with a pair of loose white trousers that give an air of captain. Naval commander. As do the suits. Elegant, double-breasted creations, worn with crisp white shirts and cravats. They say “man in control when all around you others are losing their heads”. If you were on a yacht or ship that was in distress, you would want your captain to be dressed in a Louis Vuitton suit. Such a man is in control of his wardrobe and, therefore, his life. He would know what to do and evacuate women and children first. Unlike the captain of that ship that sank off the coast of Italy. He panicked. His clothes were lacking in panache. To act the part you need to look the part. A man dressed in Louis Vuitton would never panic.
by Natalie Dembinska
