April 27, 2011 |
MJ: “So, gorge, I was thinking, I’d really love for you to be my finale girl.”
KM: “Really? That’s amazing; I’d love to. What do I wear? Is it a gown? Something amazing and floor length that gives good cleavage?”
MJ: “Well, kind of. It is amazing and there will be cleavage, but that’s not quite what I had in mind.”
KM: “Oh.”
MJ: “I was thinking odf something more along the lines of… Well, you know the whole collection’s inspired by Susan Sontag?”
KM: “Yes.”
MJ: “Her Notes on Camp.”
KM: “Yeah, and… ”
MJ: “Well, I want the last look to be the most statement making. I want to sum up that whole ethos in one outfit. I want something daring.”
KM: “Okay, I can do daring. So, you want me to – what? – dress up as one of those big cats adoring the runway.”
MJ: “Sort of. Wild animal, yes.”
KM: “I won’t do monkey, I’m telling you now. I don’t care how much you’re paying me. I’m not some new face you can do what you please with.”
MJ: “I know, I know.”
KM: “So, what is it? Show me.”
MJ: “I can’t, it’s not made.”
KM: “But the show is in five hours. Whaddya mean?”
MJ: “It’s going to be made on you. Now.”
KM: “Now.”
MJ: “Yes. I want to transform you into the most magnificent zebra.”
KM: “How are you gonna make a zebra outfit in five hours? Also, you’ve got that whole punctuality thing to maintain.”
MJ: “I’m not gonna make it. We’re going to paint it.”
KM: “Huh? I’m not sure I understand.”
MJ: “We’re gonna paint your torso in black and white zebra. A painted top.”
KM: “What about the bottom?”
MJ: “The most exquisite pair of black tuxedo trousers you’ve ever worn.”
KM: “But my nipples. It’s cold out there. I’ll graze the front row’s faces with them.”
MJ: “We’ll get nipple guards.”
KM: “Are you sure this is a good idea? What if someone wants to call in the top for a cover? What will you do then?”
MJ: “Who gives a toss? And anyway, it’ll be the most marvellous comment on Susan’s work and a total homage to her. Body-paint zebra is the pinnacle of camp.”
KM: “Okay.”
MJ: “And the black and white the most marvellous reference to her influence.”
KM: “Ummm, I’m not sure I understand.”
MJ: “Think about it. The black and white stripes are the most genius reference to her hair. A clever, subversive, nod-type thing.”
KM: “Oh my, you’re right. Will people get it, though? You don’t want nasty rumours spreading that you ran out of money to make the clothes.”
MJ: “That’s what the press release is for. So whaddya say? You in?”
KM: “Oh, what the hell. Another day, another comeback. A girl can never do too many of those. Let’s do it.”
by Natalie Dembinska
