December 31, 2014 |
Summer is here. Actually, it’s not; it’s October. But summer is at least merely months away, and soon the darkness will be here no more. Finally we will be reunited with our sunglasses in socially acceptable situations, i.e. blinding sunlight, rather than using them to hide the effects of the night before and resembling a blind mad person, though we’ve recently found this can be quite effective as a means of earning extra cash, as when you spill your coffee all over yourself and stand on a street corner gently shaking and swearing, people drop change in your empty cup. As Peaches & Herb once sang, reunited and it feels so good. Because it does. Because it’s summer and there’s sun. And what’s even better than being reunited with your sunglasses is being united all over again with a new pair of sunglasses. For example, a new pair of John Varvatos sunglasses. Yes, I know that the only thing worthy of your face is John Varvatos, so technically you’re reuniting but you’re not. Because you’re being united with his new Soho Collection, inspired by his SoHo boutique in New York. For these are not mere sunglasses. These are special. These boast “an elevated level of classic, polished and tailored design”. “The new collection pays homage to my first boutique in SoHo, which I opened in 2000, and the trendsetting character of the neighbourhood,” says Varvatos, “SoHo residents appreciate great design, and they also recognise worthwhile trends when they see them. The Soho Collection is the epitome of cool, with fashion and functional designs. Refined but raw, this collection offers a compelling aesthetic and innovative technology.” What he doesn’t mention, however, is that they come complete with four little John Varvatos hallmarks engraved on the frame, a shield displaying the company’s founding date, John Varvatos’s initials, a crown and a guitar. Herb would look rather good in these. He could serenade them. He’s been serenading that Peaches for so long I feel that he would appreciate a change of singing partner. He could serenade them in the same way that people talk to their Google Glass, but enjoy the benefits of not having a screen projected into his eyes every time he happens to speak, for example, to ask a stranger for directions and have the stranger compete for speed of information with his glasses. Obviously the glasses will win but sometimes you don’t want the glasses to win, you just want some human interaction. There is really only so much screen time a human can take, after all. You realise the moment you put something without an inbuilt screen on your face how much you’ve missed it. And where this Google Glass tangent has just sprung from, I have no idea. But back to sunglasses. These are cool. They shield your eyes from the sun. And shield your eyes from strangers when hiding the after effects of the day before.
By Natalie Dembinska
