April 1, 2017 |
You’d think that, when it comes to sunglasses, the etiquette of wearing them would be pretty straightforward. The sun is out, bright enough to burn through your retinas and pierce a hole into your dark soul: sunglasses on. No sun, just grey London misery: sunglasses off. Simple, no? How wrong you are. The etiquette for the wearing of these things is far more complex. Take this rather majestic pair from Jimmy Choo. Admire the curve of the oversized tortoiseshell and grey frames, the lizard-effect etching on those arms. Do these sunglasses not command your respect? Therefore, should you choose to take them on as your main facial accessory, remember the following pointers. Never wear them at night. Only two types of people wear sunglasses at night: blind people and douches. Similarly, never wear them indoors (unless, like Mariah, you are sensitive to certain types of light). It looks ridiculous. Especially at the bar. Don’t use them as a hair accessory, that’s what hairbands are for. And finally, don’t use them as a mirror. So you might have some spinach in your teeth. Get a toothpick, find an actual mirror. There’s nothing quite as unattractive as someone trying to catch their reflection in an amber-toned lens while going to town on their mouth with a dirty fingernail.
Take from “Ten Commandments” Issue 58 of 10 Women, ANGELS PLEASURE FLUID, on newsstands now…
Fashion Editor Will Johns
