April 23, 2012 |
As we all know, pants – or, to be more specific, bulges – lie. Unless you’re starring in a porno (in which, at some point, a grand unveiling will occur), those Roman gods plastered on billboards the world over are not packing as much as they’d like you to think they are. The size of that precious prize between their thighs is, more often than not, the work of a talented stylist with the kind of hands Patrick Swayze displayed in Ghost. While hardly as sensual as moulding clay, lovingly caressing some warm bread between your hands can also be a pleasing experience. So, without further ado, our tips on how to create the perfect package (and, yes, bread plays a key role in this).
You will need the following:
Bread – white, something with a soft inside (baguettes are good)
Clingfilm
A microwave
Method:
Take your baguette, split it in half and scoop out its insides. Wrap the insides in clingfilm, then place in a microwave and zap until warm and malleable (about 20 seconds). You should now have something resembling plastic-wrapped Plasticine. Mould gently into your desired shape, taking care not to press too hard (you don’t want it exploding everywhere).
When you are happy with the result, place in your pants – Y-fronts are probably better than boxers (you don’t want it falling out). Et voilà: instant package. You are now a fine specimen of well-endowed manhood.
by Natalie Dembinska
