December 26, 2011 |
So what should we do for Commandments this time? What’s big for men? Something fresh. Controversial even. Maybe caps. Why the hell not? So here goes. Caps were everywhere, not just on the heads of the balding bystanders that gather round outside the shows. They were on the catwalks, too. And not as a means of hiding dark secrets, either. We know those boys have dense masses of hair underneath. We’ve seen it with our own eyes and have, many a time, had to stop ourselves from running our hands through it. But we digress. Caps as fashion statement were long overdue. Caps worn in a Janet Jackson circa Rhythm Nation fashion. Just look at Acne and Calvin Klein. Whereas the first is an off-duty Janet, the second is world tour Janet. Acne’s Janet Homage, or JH, as we shall now refer to this phenomenon, is close fitting, snug, worn high on the head. Calvin’s JH is a little wider, almost deerstalker. Stands away from the sides of the head. It’s pulled down low over the eyes, creating a veil-like effect with the shadow it casts. Both are made of bonded wool, in muted colours, lending them an almost padded effect. You feel as though if you were dropped on your head, they would provide better protection than a helmet. As Janet would sing, if she ever decided to re-release Rhythm Nation under the new name of Cap Nation, “Beanie, no! Porkpie, no! Trilby, no! Listen, it’s up to everyone. If we’re gonna change the way the hat is worn. You don’t find a cap in a pipe. Too many hats go up in smoke. Get the hat you really want. The cap. Do you really want? It’s the cap. What you really want. The cap. That you really want. People of the world unite. Strength in numbers we can get it right. We are a part of the cap nation.” Garth is working on a dance routine as we type. He has dancer’s feet and a head for caps. We have a video camera so we can 10TV it. Share the wealth so to speak.
by Natalie Dembinska
