December 24, 2014 |
There are many things you could hold in a holdall. You could use it to transport your gym kit to and from the gymnasium. You could use it to carry important paperwork to the office because you are an important person with important paperwork. You could use it to transport groceries from the supermarket to your home. I mean, who uses plastic bags any more? Plastic bags are over and if you are going to spend money on a bag, why spend it on a plastic one? Those things cost five pence. Think of all those 5p pieces you’ve spent. Thousands. Probably enough to buy a holdall. Something sturdy and handcrafted from a fine leather, with two sturdy handles and a shiny zip. Something from Dunhill, perhaps. Maybe even something like the fine creation on this page. According to Vincent, this holdall is casually Brothers Kray. Or more specifically, Tom Hardy as the Brothers Kray. Both of them, because two Hardys can never be a bad thing. And then you would have two Dunhill holdalls, which could never be a bad thing either. They would carry it with a slightly crazed look. A look that says, “Approach my bag at your peril.” Inside it they would each carry, according to Vincent, a fresh cotton shirt, white and by Dunhill, still wrapped in its original tissue paper, so as to have a change of clothing in case any fresh spillages occur. This is the problem with white: fresh spillages are easier to spot. The shirt would have a stiff collar; something Vincent calls a “stiff-collar situation”. He would very much like to wear a “stiff-collar situation”. It really is the only situation worthy of such a magnificent bag. Which leads us to handkerchiefs. Good for mopping your brow. Also white, also cotton, also still wrapped in their original tissue paper and also by Dunhill. They would also be monogrammed. Monogram is what makes a handkerchief. No monogram and it’s just a tissue. They would also carry with them at all times a foldable pool cue, for when they want to unwind after a long day of working hard. Pool cues are notoriously filthy. Who knows where those hands that grasped them mere moments earlier have been? When it comes to matters of hygiene and keeping your hands germ free it’s always best to use one’s own pool cue. There’s only so much antibacterial gel can do. And imagine if that accidently spilled in your holdall. Whether or not Dunhill make foldable pool cues is another matter, but I’m sure if you asked politely they probably would. And a smart leather holder for it, too. Well, when you’ve chosen to commit to one of their handsome holdalls, you can’t just fill it with anything. The contents must be considered. The contents must be worthy.
By Natalie Dembinska
