May 1, 2011 |
Mr Van Noten, it would appear, has hit upon a novel way helping you on the route to friendship nirvana – how to sort those worthy of your valuable time from those who are not up to par – the Rorschach test. It was all over his spring/summer 2011 collection. Basically, it’s all about how you interpret a pattern of inkblots. What you see. Sort of like those weird 3-D things that were around in the late 1990s. But obviously better, as the Rorschach is a legitimate psychological tool created in 1921 by a real psychiatrist. A Swiss one, no less, and we all know they’re sticklers for detail and efficiency.
The thought process behind how we foresee this working for you is simple. Firstly you have to dress up in your many Dries layers – how about the purple, black and indigo blotch shirt from Look 4, with the more-white blotch pale jeans. On top, add the sleeveless denim jacket, also bleached pale blue, with the grey cardigan with the bleached dark-denim front panel. Think of the white bleach patterns as inverse Rorschach. The overall look is a bit skinhead, a bit This is England, worn with a sense of pride because you are a proud man, and the world was built by proud men and not in seven days by some apparition. Not so proud, though, that you’d find yourself being roped into signing up for the BNP. Remember, you’re wearing Dries, you are a gentle soul.
Anyway, how exactly does Rorschach apply to friendship? When potential candidates approach you, simply ask them what they see in the print. There’s a chart listing the more common responses you can expect – bat, crab, human. If the response is kosher, or at least piques your interest, you may strike up a conversation. If they just say ink splatter, they’re being lazy.
You may also find that, after said individual has recovered from the random psychoanalysis they’ve just been subjected to, they may compliment you on your attire. Even gently genuflect at the altar of your apparel. At this point you should march your new-found friend straight to the nearest purveyor of Dries Van Noten goods and kit them out from tête to pied. We should also add that, ideally, said person should be shorter or fatter than you – or if you’ve hit the jackpot, both. After all, what you want is a friend, not some limelight hogger.
by Natalie Dembinska
