January 18, 2015 |
Do you have a Y chromosome? Do have hair on your chest and a pair of testicles between your legs? If you answered “yes” to one or more of these questions, then you are a man. And if you are a man, you are likely to want to be a sizzling hot Sicilian hunk, otherwise known as the Dolce & Gabbana man. Here’s some tips on how to accomplish this:
1. Get tanned. Sicilian men have spent millennia exposed to the Mediterranean sun and eating olives, making them, well, olive-skinned. If you are more milk bottle-skinned than olive-skinned, then get tanned or “bronzed”, if you will. Sunbathing, sunbeds, Melanotan and other forms of tan-enhancing drugs are legitimate ways of doing this. St. Tropez Instant Tan is not.
2. Muscle up. Sicilian men are descended from the gods of Ancient Rome. And their bodies reflect that, so muscle up. Do this in whichever way you see fit, be it lifting weights, watching (and following) Davina McCall’s Super Body Workout DVD or drinking egg whites from Whole Foods like our exec fashion director.
3. Wear Dolce & Gabbana AW15. Dolce & Gabbana clothes make men look sizzling hot and Sicilian. That’s their thing. This season Stefano and Domenico served up a collection of black brocade suits, distressed denim, floral prints, graphic T-shirts, embroidered sweatshirts (embroidered with gold thread, that is), ponyskin jackets, silk pyjamas and flat caps.
Follow these instructions and hey presto! You will be a sizzling hot Sicilian hunk/Dolce & Gabbana man.
Photographer: Jason Lloyd-Evans
By Ted Stansfield
