BURBERRY PRORSUM: THE SHOW

The Burberry Prorsum show was called Town and Field. We learnt many lessons from it. Did you know that, if you were so inclined, you could wear your field wear in town and vice versa and nobody would bat an eye because it’s so well made you could even wear it to the moon instead of a spacesuit. Henceforth some other things we learnt from the show.

IT RAINED

How better to illustrate the need for a new mac and umbrella than a meteorological finale such as a thunderstorm. Macs, after all, just like umbrellas, were designed to protect from the elements. The ones here came in tweed. A heavy bouclé tweed in a black and white melange. Or a large grey check. They look warm. And practical. With all the rain and puddle splashes, you’ll want something that won’t show the water stains that will inevitably appear once London transforms from a city of pavements to one of very shallow rivers that can only be navigated in extremely high-heeled shoes, like a skyscraper moccasin.

HIPS ARE THE NEW TITS

The hips were padded. Really padded. And if they were padded they had drawstring-bag-type pockets sewn on at hip level. They jutted. Like a Marie Antoinette ball skirt, but from the front not the side. More so than the models’ breasts. Which leads us to conclude that hips are the new tits. The male gaze is being lowered. This is new. And ground-breaking.

SKIRTS FLOUNCED

You need a flouncy bottom when you’re working a padded hip to give a sensuous, Latina sashay. You don’t want to be constricted like a Kardashian bursting from the seams. You want a rumba rhythm to your steps similar to that of a young Gloria Estefan. Hence a flouncy skirt. It’s best for balancing out a padded hip.

OWLS ARE COOL

Well, what other reason is there for them being all over the tops and knitwear? They were both printed and embroidered. Never in multiples, though. A single owl per garment. They looked as though they’d been drawn by a child. Maybe one who’s a fan of The Owl and the Pussycat. Maybe Arizona Muse’s son. She was in the show, so it could be true.

THE MICHELIN MAN IS COOL, TOO

The cropped, down-filled jackets look a bit like the bomber jackets worn by Tom Cruise in Top Gun, a look that always slightly reminded us of the Michelin Man. Please follow. The ones at Burberry, though, were worn with sleeves pushed up over the elbows, making the girls seem rather muscular. Tough. Everyone likes a tough-looking coat. A little “oouuu, you wouldn’t want to mess with her” number.

www.burberry.com

by Natalie Dembinska