January 31, 2013 |
This purse, the shiny orange leather confection you see before you, courtesy of Burberry Prorsum – though its existence is more courtesy of Christopher Bailey, for it is he who sent shiny rainbow sweet-wrapper confections down the runway, from which accessories would logically take their cue – has been named Metallic Tangerine. We’re tempted to change our name by deed poll. The name is Tangerine. Metallic Tangerine. But you can call me Tange. Not only does it look like the most delicious Quality Street chocolate, it is, to paraphrase Joan Rivers, what Marie Antoinette would have stowed her cards in if she’d had money. To be honest, she didn’t have cards either. They didn’t exist. Which must have been sad for her, as she would have at least had credit. And while we accept that credit needs to be paid back, we feel that’s what children are for. Why pass on fortunes when you can pass on debt? It’s a life lesson they’ll never forget and, as a parent, it is your duty to teach them such lessons so they learn never to repeat your mistakes. That, however, is not the only benefit of owning a tangerine-coloured purse. Did you know, for example, that the name comes from Tangier in Morocco, the port from which the first tangerines were shipped to Europe at some point in the 19th century? That, when it comes in the form of tangerine quartz, it is a wonderful healing stone after trauma or shock? “It is also used in past-life healing and is beneficial in situations where one feels a need to make up for past damages done. It activates and balances the sacral hara chakra. And leads one to a more positive vibration in life. Tangerine quartz is sometimes used to enhance sexuality and creativity.” One can only imagine the power of the colour tangerine when it has been painstakingly handcrafted into an object of lust rather than appear as a by-product of Mother Nature. There are two types of princesses in this world. Those who let them eat cake and those who heal. Those who cannot heal die poor. Those who heal lay Metallic Tangerine purses instead of hands. They are miracle workers. They owe it all to their purse.
by Natalie Dembinska
