10 family member Tara St Hill has collaborated with twenty-year-old actress Esmé Creed-Miles on her directorial debut, the short film Jamie. Premiered yesterday as a part of Palm Springs International Shortfest 2020, the 14-minute piece – which is shot on 35mm film – is a creative investigation of suicide and bulimia, played, directed and written by Esmê herself. Made to disturb the viewer, the film realistically portrays an intimate insight into struggles with depression, body image and an internalized gaze.10 Magazine’s Senior Editor at Large, Tara St Hill, styled the short film after looking over the script with Esmé and feeling deeply connected to it due to her own experience with the issues raised.
“I had bulimia from the age of eight so I knew the struggle all too well. With the styling, I took myself back to that time and remembered looking at myself with an almost microscopic eye. The self-hate and trying to hide myself in layers of clothes and the lack of self-care when you are in that hellish place. It’s definitely the most important job I’ve ever been part of.” The piece also resonated with St Hill after losing a close friend to suicide, “I excepted the job as we lost a good friend Ben Raemers to suicide. I missed his funeral to do the job but as painful as that was I think this film was truly an honour to be part of with Esmé, she made something incredible and brutally honest. I have nothing but respect for that kind of courage.”
‘Jamie’ is available to stream here.
