November 27, 2011 |
If shoulder pads are the barometer of power for the female of the species (the bigger they are, the greater the power), then surely capes are the male equivalent. There’s one behind every strong man. Just think about it: Superman, Batman, Sherlock Holmes, Zorro, Mighty Mouse, even the Pope. All ideals of strutting manhood. And none more so than that thief of the night, Transylvania’s most infamous resident. We credit this breakthrough in male power ranking to Kris Van Assche, him at Dior Homme. It was, after all, he who sent boys down the runway complete with delicate folds of black wool falling from their shoulders. And he’s always been a fan of the darker and, we feel, a tad campy reference. So perfectly Dracula-like are his capes, it feels almost as though the count has possessed the mind of the fair Kris, guiding his hand across the sketch pad to create the perfect garment for all vampires-to-be. All the necessary requirements for a bloodsucker’s cape have been carefully considered. If you were to stretch out your arms while wearing this, it would cover them in a veil of blackness, making you at once resemble a bat, which you sometimes morph into when travelling long haul, while also making you look rather threatening, which is rather handy as you want to be able to strike terror into the hearts of your victims. It also allows you to do that crooked-arm-in-front-of-your-face-evil-laugh thing rather well. The collar, when raised, creates an aura about the face, and also aids hiding in shadows. That deathly white skin vampires have is like a beaming spotlight. How on earth can you expect to hide in shadows and creep up on potential victims if they can see you coming from a mile off? We’ve also read that the cape can be compared to a womb, and hiding inside it creates a sense of security for the vampire, but personally we think… bollocks. What kind of a vampire feels insecure, and if they should be in need of a safe place, isn’t that what their coffins are for? But, more than anything, it makes them look more powerful than a monster truck, and we’ll level with you for a second: nothing does it for us like a man of power dressed in black. Turns the knees to jelly.
by Natalie Dembinska
