Dear friend, bosom buddy of whoever it just so happens is this moments hottest designer out there. Now, we realise that they’ve just designed a brand spanking new collection. We realise that friendship like ego is a fragile beast that can erupt like a volcano at the slightest sign of frisson, but bitch please! Personally, we’ve always found that in friendship honesty is the best policy. So yeah it might be a bit awkward at first when you utter the words they don’t long to hear. But they’ll bet over it. So why then, does every friend, hanger on, whoever insist on kissing their designer friends backsides? Is Diana Ross your BF? Has she embarked on a life changing journey called sewing pretty dresses? Will she beat you if you cross her? No. So why behave that way towards your real friends? Is it not better to just get it all out in the open not worry about letting slip when drunk? Seriously, what’s the worse that can happen? No Friday drinks down the pub for a week? Pathetic. Do yourselves a favour and your friends one too and just speak up. You’ll be surprised. They might even thank you one day.

As dictated but not read by Antony Miles